Life in My Years

Two days late is still better than never. Here are a few things that I am thankful for in my life.

The Old ‘Uns

Mom and Dad

Everybody is thankful for their parents to some extent, and it is my special privilege to have the kind that you are thankful for in all extents. There aren’t enough good things I can say to do them full justice, so I’ll just write a short memory I have about each of them:

I went to Harding Elementary School in El Cerrito California and during my kindergarten to second grade years, my dad worked at a job that left his afternoons free. When the school bell rang at 3 p.m., I would walk out of the classroom with my Garfield lunchbox and look around with almost a frantic zeal until I found the face I was looking for: my dad’s. He would be standing there smiling and I would wave excitedly and start running toward him as fast as I could soon as I spotted him and then I’d give him a big bear hug. Every day he would do this and every day, I would greet him like I hadn’t seen him in years. I can’t really explain why I was so happy to see him every single day on that school year, but I was. And I knew that he was happy that I was so happy to see him, so I knew I had to always greet him that way, because if I didn’t, then maybe he’d be sad that I had changed. We would walk home together and before my afternoon nap, he would tell me his stories in his story voice. He would do all kinds of voices and the stories were so exciting and mythical and wonderful that I was always sorry for them to end.

For a long time, I was sick. I’ll never forget my mom during that time; she loved me and took care of me with such unwavering strength and resolve. Even as I became increasingly impatient, cranky, disheartened, and just plain tired of seeing ineffective doctor after ineffective doctor, she never showed any signs of the weariness I know she must’ve felt. When I took my anger out at her, yelled at her, acted sullen and ungrateful, she took it and treated me with such patience and love that I wouldn’t have thought was possible. Tired as she was after her long work day and then working overtime late into the nights, she still had the energy to drive me long distances just to see some specialist based on one recommendation on the hopes that perhaps, just maybe, this was going to be the one doctor that would make me better. We finally did find that one doctor, and it’s just as much her efforts as it was the doctor’s that has made me better.

Dr. Fu (otherwise known as “the one doctor”)

Health is something almost everyone takes for granted until it fades, and then you realize health is everything. I now move my thumbs, my big left toe, and my left knee freely without pain and I am regularly thankful for this. And I am regularly thankful for Dr. Fu for making that happen. At the worst, walking became almost impossible without painkillers and simple movements like adjusting a leg in bed or twitching some toes or holding a cup to drink water required much debate and consideration on whether such movements were necessary. They cost too much not to have such deliberation. But Dr. Fu made all that inflammation and pain go away. God I love that man. If anyone’s sick and is seeking an excellent miracle-working doctor, email me and I will give you his number.

Olya

There is no teacher who has had more impact or more influence on my life than she. True, I’m not going to become a concert pianist in this lifetime and I’m no longer even a piano performance major, but that stuff doesn’t matter. I don’t think I realized as it was happening, but she showed me what it took to be truly good at something; to not be sloppy, to not just scrape by, to not just be mediocre, but to excel, to stand out, and to shine. Her complete dedication, passion, and refusal to accept anything less than the best pushed me the point where I can now look back on all those years of practice and discipline and actually feel truly proud something I’ve accomplished and feel good that I know it better and I’ve done it better than most people my age. And that feeling is incredibly valuable, even if I don’t play piano anymore and even if that feeling is only a memory right now.

The Less-Old ‘Uns

Christina

If you weren’t my life, I’d have no one to burst into long and helplessly silly gigglefests with, and I’d most likely look at girls who did with a sense of superiority (and lord knows one less thing for me to be judgmental about is always a good thing). I always have fun when I’m with you whether we’re grocery shopping or “working out” or bickering and whenever I’m with you, I feel like 8-year old Helen. In a good way. I hope one day, when we’re 45 and wrinkling, I’ll still feel that way with you. And remember those times you made that long commute all the way from UCSF to Fremont so you could hang out with me when I was down? Those were some of the funnest days I’ve had these past few months. Thank you for making those trips, and thank you for your listening ears.

Haley

You’ve been steadily by my side during some of the most tumultuous and difficult transitions in my life and now I can’t imagine what it’d be like if you weren’t there. From the first time I read one of your Livejournal entries to the first time I met you in person that summer day at Kevin’s house to this current minute, as we’re vacationing together in New York City, you’ve never ceased to make me laugh and see the humor in almost everything: movie announcers, Jesus, death, morasses, deceased infants, the pit of despair, ducks, catastrophic disasters. No joke is crude or lewd enough for you; but deep down, I know you’re just a kind, slightly paranoid and good-natured ol’ softie bear. In fact, you’re always so good-humored and cheerful that for the first few months of our acquaintance, I actually thought there must’ve been something seriously wrong with you. But there isn’t. You’re one of the most “good” people I know and when I’m with you, I feel happy. Thanks for the thousands of laughs, chuckles, and guffaws and thanks for being that rare breed of friend that always manages to be there when you need them. I would add a “God bless”, but you don’t know if you believe in God and neither do I. The sentiment’s there though.

Jimmy

It’s strange to imagine what things would be like if I’d never lived in Monsterhouse, because then you, Haley, and I wouldn’t have had that wonderful year together in Davis and you and I wouldn’t have become the friends we are today. And you are such a good, good friend–not so much in the traditional sense, but in your own way, you are, and probably always will be, one of the best friends I’ll ever have in my life. You’re the kind of friend that leads people to reassess things, to reflect, and to change and being friends with you has changed the way I look and think about the world. You’re the most thoughtful and principled people I know and what’s more, the most sincere. That probably sounds cheesy, but the way that you’ve influenced and impacted me more than any one person in my life doesn’t feel cheesy. You make me want to be a better person. Friendship with you is not always the easiest kind of friendship to have, but being best friends with you has felt deeper, more profound and more real than most of the relationships I’ve had and probably will have in my lifetime. I love the way we talk together and just how connected I feel with you. You’ll always be special to me.

Linda

Ever since that night of Winter’s Ball in 7th grade when you and I danced the Mexican Hat Dance (I think that’s the official name) alone and then played tag and you skinned your knee, we’ve been inseparable. There wasn’t one “group” that I hung out with in high school, there was always only you, and our long walks and talks all over the campus made high school the wonderful time I remember it being. And after high school, there was college and we remained staunchly in touch, calling each other for hours every single day. We’ve become more distant over this past year, and that makes me sad because you’ve always been my sole confidant–the one I think to tell everything to since I was mature enough to have neuroses. We’ve shared everything together and I have such wonderful memories of us Christmas shopping, talking on the phone, taking walks, laughing. Thank you for all those wonderful memories and all those years and all the years to come.

Whew, I’d originally planned for this to be a short-ish post, but now it’s a monster!